Your Boss Isn’t the Real Authority
In leadership, there is always someone above you with authority, and part of your role is to follow that authority. Everyone occupies a role in a system. We live in the tension between leading laterally and following vertically – A classic system dilemma. Your boss gives direction; you carry it out to the best of your ability and within your moral framework. With time, you begin anticipating their needs and become a more effective follower.
But bosses - just like us - are human. They are fallible. They have blind spots. They carry a role, not omniscience.
If you cannot see your boss’s humanity, you may be idealizing the role and ignoring human limitations.
If you believe your boss only makes mistakes, you may be projecting disappointment or frustration onto them and converting the role into a container for “the villain.” Systems love to invite these projections.
Sometimes you do everything right. You carry your role with clarity, lead thoughtfully, meet expectations, and manage conflict well. And then, out of nowhere, you learn your boss is unhappy with something you did. You think, “Wait… what?”
This is the moment when systemic dynamics break through your personal narrative. You discover that doing the task well doesn’t always align with how authority experiences your role. It’s a tough lesson: you can act with integrity, diligence, and care - and still be surprised by the emotional or political currents around you.
So what should you do? Dismiss your boss? Become defensive?
No. First, become curious, not reactive.
Explore the feedback nondefensively. Try to understand where your boss is coming from - both as a person and in their role. You don’t need to agree with it, but understanding the system’s demands is essential.
Second, ask yourself:
“Did I do the best I could with the information I had?
Did I think it through?
Did I consult the right people?”
This is a check-in with both task authority and your own internal authority.
Third, remember: your boss is human. They are influenced by anxiety, pressure, organizational politics, and their own authority struggles. They may be responding not just to your action but to systemic tensions they are holding on behalf of the organization.
Your boss is not the ultimate authority you should fear.
The authority that truly matters -the only one that matters – is your inner authority. It is the capacity to stay grounded in wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance. The authority that helps you maintain boundaries, stay in role, and act with clarity even amid projection, confusion, and role pressure.
Ask yourself: “Did I fail my inner authority?”
A boss can fire you. But abandoning your inner authority unravels the integrity of your role and corrodes the soul.